2015 the time to accept the things you cannot change and the courage to change the things you can.

New years is a great time to sit and reflect both on the year gone by, what you have and haven’t achieved, where you are as a person right now but also helps you to focus various aspects of your life that are in your control.
One of my favourite quotes of all time is:

Give me the Strength to; Accept the things you cannot change, give me the courage to change the things I can & the wisdom to know the difference.

Diana Porter Sibyls

This forms the basis of many 12 step programs for mental health or addiction but something about it has always struck a cord with me, one of the reasons it is on my wellness wall (Link) and also forms the basis for the words I chose for my necklace that my wonderful bf brought me for xmas.

But breaking it down to apply to thinking about reflection on the past, present and future.

Accept you cannot change:

  •  The Past– to my knowledge time travel has not been invented yet, whilst I think it is a good idea to glance back on the past year to look at both the good and bad.

    It is important to acknowledge the bad and the good. Looking at the good the things you have achieved over the year however big or small can help you balance out the bad and help to give you hope and shows us what we can accomplish.

    I find when looking at the less positive things that have occurred in the past year, equally as important even though I adopt a very positive mindset, I find looking at the bad even though it can sometimes seem all consuming at times, and much of it may have been out of your control, I try to pin point things I could have done better (where possible), and when there is nothing I could have done differently, I look and think well I got through that!

    To check out my 2014 review click here (Link coming soon)

  • Illness/ pain – you can do a lot of things to help yourself when suffering from various illnesses but especially with Chronic Illnesses such as CFS/ME acceptance is key, you can spend so much time ‘wallowing’ for want of a better word, thinking: Why me? When is it going to stop? Acceptance of an illness is so crucial regardless of whether it is a chronic illness such as CFS/ME or a common cold, you need to accept before you can adjust, check out my previous post on acceptance (Link)
  • Other people- you can only change yourself! You can give other people advice, just an they can give you some but it depends on the individual if they wish to change. Equally people may have misconceptions of you, your illness, what you are capable of, you can let them know your opinion but that doesn’t mean theirs will change, people may talk behind your back but there is nothing you can do about that, the only thing you can change is how much you let it affect you and your reaction. (Others perceptions- Link coming soon)

Courage to change the things you can:

There are many thing in your life you can change, you can take the negatives that occurred over the past year and focus your efforts on them, be that trying a new treatment, diet, exercise program, taking up a new hobby, or working on positive mindset.

The great thing I find about having the strength to change the things you can is that there is always something you could change!

So what are you short and long terms goals for 2015? Check mine out here (Link Coming Soon)

Don’t forget to treat yourself with kindness and try to remember not to ruminate on the past and things you cannot change but to use your time and energy on those things that you can change, where possible using SMART goals (Link coming soon) to help you achieve them.

My necklace is a reminder for me to check in and think when I am getting stressed out over some-things, if it is in my realm of possibility to change it? If there is something I can do, then to do something about it and if not why stress?

Stress and worry is such a waste of energy, my plan is to try to cut as much of it out as humanly possible this year.

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